As a kid and a teenage I struggled to fit-in, and often felt alone. I am sure a lot of people felt this way. I had a lot of gifts, but they were never enough and I always felt terribly insecure. I remember sitting by myself in high school, or walking the halls during lunch, just so people wouldn’t know I was alone, but after you pass someone 10 or 11 times they figure it out. You feel you’re classmates are wondering what are you doing. The darkness press in on you, and the isolation deepens. Then at the age of 17, I realized if I didn’t get some help I wasn’t going to make it. Even if I put it together for a period of time, eventually my life would unravel. No matter how hard I worked or tried to get better, my self-destructive behavior would eventually and inevitably tear my life apart, and destroy every relationship. How I understood this at such a young age, I don’t know. It was at this time I became a Christian. A better description is, “It was at this time God reached down and saved me”. I remember thinking, “God unless You intercede, and direct my life I will not make it.” I wasn’t about the present, but when I am 40, 50, and 60 years old. I knew either He saves me or I am going to be a statistic. Over the past 40+ years I have continued to fight a constant battle within myself. The internal demons have had their share of victories. But God continues to intercede. I know, nay fear, that if He ever decides that He is done with me, I will not make it another day. It is in these 40 years of loneliness and failure that God has forged my life, my beliefs, and my thoughts. My life is what it is because of Him, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The theme of my blog is the curtain to the Holy of Holies was torn from top to bottom, allowing all who believe direct access to God. He is my Father and I do not need an intercessory, nor should I. He will guide me and tell me great and mighty things I do not know. He gives me understanding, as a Father to his son.
This blog is the result, and I will try to put my thoughts of God, Christ, the Bible, politics and our culture. Please enjoy and leave comments if you feel the need.